Ask Satan

Satan is not just some jerk from the "bible". There's a little piece of him inside all of us. He's what makes us not want to go to work, or exercise, or tell the truth. He's what makes us want to party, and to have sex like wild animals all night long. He's that little voice in your mind that screams, "Fuck you!" to people who annoy you. Life not what it should be? Need some advice? Go ahead! Ask Satan!

 

Good day to you one and all. My name is Satan (aka Beelzebub; aka Lucifer). Although I have never met you before I'm sure I understand your petty problems, and I will gladly annhilate you and devour your soul. If we did meet, I'm sure I'd despise you, and you go mad from the sheer depth of my evil. I have worked too long, and too hard to have some ape spawned meat sack get all of the attention and glory! If you have a question, a picture, or a soul you would like to send in, feel free to send it in to me.